September 14, 2011


(All the comments in grey I have actually heard from other parents. They have said much worse. Thankfully I am a nice person. And "shut-up" is a swear word in my home.)

My family attended a local car show a couple weeks ago. We allowed the children the use of the camera to capture their favorite vehicle. My oldest took the pictures head on. He wants to see the motor under the hood, or the motor sticking OUT of the hood. My second child takes pictures from the side of the vehicle. She wants a good view of the "pretty" car. My third child stands back at the corner of the vehicle to get a good shot of both the front and side of the car. My youngest, well, we're lucky if we know what the picture is of.

"Well, all non-oral deaf live on SSI."

Everyone has a different perspective on what is right and what is not. I would never thumb through those photos and tell my child their view was bad, or wrong. It is their view. Their decision of what is best. Their end goal is the same: to enjoy the picture later.

"I knew that if my child was going to learn to read, they had to know how to speak."

All parents have a vision, their perspective of what they feel is the best method for raising their deaf child. Even parents with the same philosophy on deafness will see different ways to accomplish their goal: having an educated, confident child, who feels loved. Comparing notes is not a bad idea, but accept that your views and opinions may not be shared. Support what works, and throw out what doesn't. Most of all, show respect.

"You can't have a meaningful relationship without a voice."

I appreciate your "concern" for my child. Lets keep in mind that it is, in fact, my child. I am not abusing her by not forcing her to speak. I am not neglecting her by not putting her hearing aids on everyday. She is not missing anything by living in a silent world. She is beautiful, educated, excels in math and sports. She makes people laugh, smile, giggle and feel good about themselves. She is confident. She is amazing. She is mine. 

"You can't get a good education at that deaf school." 

 We chose to raise her "deaf". Do I wish she could talk? Sometimes. But then I look at her, and she smiles, and I know she is happy!

"Your daughter really struggles sitting still. ADD right?"  
(let me point out that she does not have ADD, ADHD or Autism)

1 comment:

  1. Wow, that's all I can say. Wow! Those are... maddening statements, to say the least. ("All non-oral deaf live on SSI"?????) I can't believe anyone actually has the nerve to say those things. My second response should probably have been my first response, which is that you as the parent are making the decisions and should be respected. YOU are the "expert" for your own kids! That should be my first response, but my first response REALLY was "Are you kidding me?!" You are SO right--she is absolutely not missing anything by living in a silent world. You are celebrating her the way she came to you. You are supporting her. You are not making her feel like she doesn't measure up (or possibly setting her up for failure!) by trying to make her speak. You are giving her LANGUAGE (HER language!), and now she'll be able to do anything!!!! I've said this before, and I'll say it again--you are the kind of hearing mother every deaf child wishes they had!

    P.S. I think it's funny (and NOT) that people always assume wiggly kids have ADD. 50 years ago they called it energy.